


For Your Eyes Only

by lupus



Series: Stucky AUs [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But that doesn't negate what they've been through!, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Everyone Gets A Therapist, Healing / Happy Bucky Barnes, Healing / Happy Steve Rogers, M/M, Meet-Cute, Tumblr, bucky barnes is a freak on the not low, mostly meet-cute kinda meet-awkward, steve rogers is a freak on the low, will gain its rating in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-02-26 00:19:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18712654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupus/pseuds/lupus
Summary: Steve follows Bucky’s softcore porn blog on tumblr. Through a twist of fate - namely the combination of Tony Stark and Sam Wilson - Steve then meets the man he's been secretly lusting after in person, not knowing who he is.It doesn't take Steve long to put two and two together. Steve's lust for the man he knows on the internet is combined with his infatuation with the man he's just met and Steve...Steve is royally screwed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so this is obviously set before the big tumblr porn-blockade of 2019.  
> title come from 'roc me out' by rihanna which was (and continues to be) UNDERappreciated !
> 
> also it's been over 3yrs since i've written any steve x bucky but i got the itch and im BACK
> 
> this AU takes place in a world where bucky was never the winter soldier but shield/hydra is still revealed and shield falls. this is one of those cheesy 2012's-era fics where everyone lives/has a place in the tower and is happy and nobody dies cause i don't write to make people sad and have been steadfastly ignoring canon for years now so here we are!

Steve’s first impression of whoever’s apartment it is that Tony and Sam have dragged him to is that it would have been shockingly out of place in the Brooklyn he remembers. 

The first floor is open and spacious - kitchen, living, and dining all flowing nicely. People mill about - enough for Steve to be able to blend into the crowd, but not so many that there’s no room to move - holding champagne flutes, beer bottles, and glasses of varying types of alcohol. There’s a long wet bar where people are either making themselves drinks or laughing while making them for their friends. The party feels high-energy, yet somehow still chic enough that people are dressed in a mix of semi-casual to semi-formal. There are none of those red cups from all of the teen movies he’s watched with his teammates so he supposes that’s a good thing. 

There’s also a second floor - a loft-type area with what looks like more open space, and probably the bedroom. Or bedrooms. Steve’s not sure. The loft area is empty, so he assumes it’s off-limits. 

The far wall is pretty much just all windows, stretching the entirety of the open space of the two stories. Outside he can see the glittering buildings of Manhattan in the distance. Steve’s sure in the daytime the place had an incredible view of the East River. 

So the place itself is breathtaking and whoever decorated it had good taste - a sort of rustic-industrial vibe - but it was still all so overwhelming sometimes. How much things had changed. 

Between that and the number of people now paying attention to their arrival - Tony always draws attention, even if he doesn’t mean to - Steve feels like he just needs a minute to breathe. 

Steve tugs on Sam’s sleeve as Tony gets excitedly pulled aside by someone Steve’s never seen before and says lowly in his ear.

“Where’s the bathroom? I just need...a minute.”

Sam nods up to the loft. 

“There’s one up there that will give you a little more privacy and quiet. I’ll take you.”

“You’re sure that your friend won’t mind?” Steve asks, cautiously. The lack of people on the second floor made it seem quite off-limits. 

“Nah, Bucky’s pretty much one of my best friends. ‘Mi casa es su casa’ type of thing. Follow me,” Sam says.

Steve follows Sam through the crowd and up the stairs. They cross the open area of the loft - which has a comfy-looking leather couch and what looks like a home office set-up - to a door that Sam opens. They’re in someone’s bedroom, which Steve balks at - feeling it’s an invasion of privacy. 

“C’mon man,” Sam gripes, grabbing Steve by the arm and leading him through the dim room. The bed is neatly made, though the room looks lived-in. A couple of things are scattered across the dresser, there are shirts laid over the back of the armchair in the corner, and there’s a phone charging on the nightstand. 

Sam pushes him towards the open door that leads to the bathroom.

“Take your time, Bucky won’t mind - I promise. But when you’re good, come find us. I really think you’ll like this friend of ours.” 

Steve just nods as Sam slips out of the room and back to the party. How Sam and Tony have a mutual friend outside of the Avengers is honestly beyond Steve. He had no idea they ran in the same circles.

Steve moves into the bathroom, flipping the lights on. The apartment continues to impress him. The bathroom continues the industrial style of the rest of the apartment. The fixings are all dark and there’s an exposed brick wall behind the giant tub that takes up one of the corners of the room. The shower is huge and Steve counts two showerheads plus one of those rain showerheads in the center as well. Quite excessive, really. There’s another door, opposite the double vanity, that Steve assumes leads to a walk-in closet. 

To be fair, his place was just as nice, but that was because Tony Stark had designed it. Steve wondered what this Bucky guy did in order to afford a place like this. 

Stopping any further creeping around in a literal stranger’s bathroom, Steve turns back toward the double vanity, choosing the sink that didn’t have various toiletries scattered around it. He took a moment to splash some cool water in his face and regroup.

He could do this. He could be just Steve tonight. And if anyone brought the whole Captain America thing up, he could politely tell them he didn’t want to talk about work. 

It was his therapist’s advice when he’d told her about the party.

Feeling a little better, Steve looks up into the mirror to make sure at the very least he didn’t look like he’d almost had a minor freakout at a party of all things. He looks fine, if a little tired, but that isn’t what strikes him.

Something in his view from the mirror gives him  déjà vu . Something about it strikes Steve as  _ familiar  _ but he can’t grasp why. It’s a strange feeling, similar to when a word or thought is on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t quite articulate it. Steve looks around again. He would’ve remembered being in a place like this, so it’s not like he’s been here before. 

So he shrugs it off, these things happen sometimes and it’s frankly the least of his worries at the moment. 

He takes one last glance at the scene before bracing himself to leave the bathroom.

Searching for his friends in the middle of a crowded party isn’t exactly Steve’s ideal Saturday night, but Tony and Sam had insisted on Steve getting out and talking to people who weren’t part of the team. Or Veterans from the VA. Or the old woman who ran the Cafe-Bakery-Deli that Steve loved two blocks away from the Tower. 

Natasha had tried - and failed - to set him up with every woman imaginable and his brief interest in his “nurse” neighbor back in D.C. had turned out to be an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D. agent so that was also an automatic “no” from Steve.

Steve is resigned to his fate at the moment, and he’s okay with that. He’s grown comfortable in his new future. He loves the food, loves the technology. He’s a big fan of the slightly-more equal rights. He has a team, he’s found a chosen family. While it had been rocky at first - and they all still had differing opinions on things - they always had the same common goal in mind, and that what was most important.

Sure he missed the Howlies and he missed Peggy but they’d all lived their lives. Outside of them, the past held nothing for him. It had taken him a lot of time, and some serious therapy, but he was...happy here in the future. It was better than being broke and miserable and sick and starving in 1940’s Brooklyn and definitely better than being at war in Europe. 

Sure, he’d lost a lot. But he’d gained far more than he lost and that was what was most important. 

So. 

Making his way through a crowd of people to search for his friends is nothing. He fought literal Nazi’s in Germany and helped take down a secret terrorist organization hidden with SHIELD barely six months ago, so he can deal with a party. At least that’s what he keeps telling himself in his head. 

With that in mind, Steve finally leaves the bathroom - and lets out a small noise of surprise at the fact that the bedroom is no longer empty. 

A man - dark-haired, about Steve’s height with strong shoulders and thick thighs - is checking the phone that had been charging on the nightstand. 

The man looks over at Steve, and Steve almost lets out another surprised noise at how  _ handsome _ the man is. Steel-blue eyes, a strong jaw, and sharp cheekbones that are offset by a mouth that could only be described as  _ pouty _ . The man raises an eyebrow at Steve and quirks that mouth up into a teasing smirk, seemingly unsurprised that there’s a stranger coming out of what must be his bathroom.

This must be Bucky.

“Uh, hi. I’m sorry if I’m intruding. Sam uh, Sam brought me up here. Said it was okay to use this bathroom? I’m sorry if I’m overstepping...I’m Steve,” Steve sticks a hand out, internally wincing at just how awkward he’s being. 

“You’re fine, Sam told me. I’m Bucky,” Bucky confirms, giving Steve a firm handshake.  

“Still,” Steve says, pulling his hand back almost reluctantly. “Can’t exactly be comforting to have a strange man in your room

“Maybe so,” Bucky says, eyeing Steve up and down, gaze moving slowly, almost lazily. The moment turns charged. “But it certainly helps when the stranger looks like you. Sam’s told me a lot about his friend Steve, Tony too, they insisted on you coming tonight. But they failed to mention the fact  that their ‘friend Steve’ was exactly my type.”

God this man was forward. And his words should’ve come off skeezy but he somehow makes it charming. 

“You think they’re covertly trying to set us up?” Steve asks, heart starting to hammer in his chest as Bucky takes a deliberate step into Steve’s personal space.

“I don’t know about Tony, but Sam for sure,” Bucky says with a conspirator’s smile. “Kind of offended it took ‘em this long to make it happen when we could’ve - ”

“Hey! Bucky? Steve?” Sam’s voice comes from the hallway, effectively cutting Bucky off. 

Bucky takes a slight step back, still in Steve’s space, but giving him enough room so that it isn’t quite so obvious that he was coming on to Steve like a predator to prey. 

“Oh! So you guys have met,” Sam says innocently enough as he comes into the bedroom, though Steve can still see the triumphant gleam in his friend’s eyes. “Good. Let’s go down and find Stark, he was looking for us.” 

Steve throws one last look at Bucky and Bucky tilts his head towards Sam in an “after you” motion. They follow Sam out through the loft area and back down into the throng of people. Steve can feel people’s eyes on them, but he tells himself it’s because they’re with the host of the party. 

“Ah! There are our boys,” Tony exclaims, pulling Bucky into a hug. “Sam said he saw you earlier, I was wondering where you’d disappeared off to, But I suppose it was to find our very own golden boy here.”

Steve rolls his eyes, good-naturedly. A few years ago, the nickname would’ve made him bristle, but he knows better now. Knows Tony better now. 

“Hi, Tony,” Bucky said fondly. “Where’s Pepper?”

“In Japan, taking care of some business. She apologizes for not being able to make it though, she’ll be back two weeks before Christmas if you still want to do Christmas Eve dinner at ours.” 

“I’d love that,” Bucky replies with a kind smile.

“So how do all of you know each other?” Steve asks, genuinely curious, not taking his eyes off Bucky’s face - and that smile.

“Well, Bucky and I met through the VA a couple of years ago when I first transferred to New York,” Sam starts.

“I had been recently honorably discharged from the Army and had kind of...lost my way. Sam helped me find my path.” 

“He’s good at that, huh?” Steve says knowingly, and Bucky gives him a look that makes him feel understood.

“Psh, I just extended the hand. You both did the work to get yourselves out of the trenches,” Sam says.

“And Bucky and I here met through a little twist of fate called Bucky’s  _ Distinguished Service Cross Ceremony, _ ” Tony adds. 

“Jeez Tony, you mention that damn medal more than my Ma does,” Bucky mumbles, ducking his head and blushing. 

It’s a good look on him.

“That’s the second highest award that anyone in the army can get,” Steve states appreciatively, and impressed, even though he’s sure everyone in this circle knows that. 

Steve had been given the Medal of Honor posthumously (well, when they thought he was dead at least) and most days he feels he doesn’t deserve it. 

“Bucky saved his men and lost his arm, nearly lost his life too in the process,” Tony continues. “I heard of it through the grapevine and had been working on making high-tech prosthetics. So, I came to his ceremony, propositioned him afterward and whaddya know - Buckaroo here also happens to have a degree in biotechnology engineering.”

“So I helped Stark finish his prototype for a fully functioning metal prosthetic, and here we are,” Bucky says, raising his left hand to show Steve. 

The prosthetic is black with gold accents and moves fluidly, like any other flesh arm. It’s beautiful in its own way, and Steve is once again baffled by the technology this future world of his offers.

“We’re now on the third version of the arm,” Tony says proudly. “This one can feel sensation just as well as a human arm and is more dexterous than previous designs. We’ve outfitted over three-hundred people with StarkTech prosthetics over the past three and a half years. We’re working on getting a hundred more within this year alone and upgrading everyone else to version three. Then we’ll start working on prosthetics for above and below the knee amputations, then hopefully full-leg prosthetics.”

“Wow,” is all Steve can say. “That’s beyond amazing, you guys.”

He means it. 

Bucky merely brushes off the praise. Handsome, charming, smart, brave, and humble. Steve’s a goner.

“I got lucky, meeting Tony - and Sam, too - when I did. I’m just trying to give back to other Vets and anyone else who may benefit from our prosthetics, in any way that I can.” 

He and Steve share another look that feels charged with that something from earlier Steve can’t quite put a name to before it’s interrupted.

“Speaking of which, I’ll be expecting to see a lot more of you around the lab now that we’re kicking off phase four, Barnes,” Tony says. “I know you love working from home but this part always requires a little more of a hands-on approach.”

“I’d expected nothing less. Want to start next week?” Bucky asks.

“Absolutely, I’ll send a car so you can be at the Tower at 10 a.m. Monday morning. If you bring me some of that good Brooklyn hipster-coffee, I’ll get us breakfast sandwiches.”

“A man after my own heart. It’s a deal,” Bucky finalizes.

They all chat idly for a few more minutes before Bucky gets pulled away by another guest. Steve half pays attention to whatever Sam and Tony are talking about and tries his best not to follow Bucky around the room with his gaze. Try as he might, it’s hard.

He’s not sure how much time passes before Tony and Sam have both had their fill - of both the party and alcohol - and are following Steve to find Bucky to say goodbye.

Steve braces himself the whole time, telling himself  _ this is it. I’m going to be brave, and get this man’s number. _

Bucky’s face lights up when he sees Steve making his way toward him, friends in tow. Tony and Sam say their goodbyes, and Steve is psyching himself up for his turn. 

“It was really nice to meet you, Bucky. I…”

He’s gonna do it. He’s so gonna do it.

“...Guess I’ll be seeing you around the Tower?”

And he extends his hand. For another stupid handshake. 

Steve isn’t sure if the small flash of disappointment on Bucky’s face is his own hopeful imagination or if it’s real. Either way, whatever it was is quickly replaced by a warm grin, a returned handshake, and a “It was nice to meet you too, and yeah, hopefully, I’ll see you around.” 

Then Bucky’s once again being pulled off in some other direction, and Steve is corralling his friends out the door and into the car Tony had sent for them.

 

* * *

 

Later that night Steve’s laying in bed after dropping off a quite-tipsy Sam at his apartment and a definitely-drunk Tony to his floor in the Tower. 

He can’t stop thinking about Bucky. Can’t stop mentally kicking himself for failing to get Bucky’s number. 

He scrolls through tumblr, something Clint had shown him pretty close to the beginning of Steve joining the team. He’s actually really good with tech and has adapted to using it quickly, he just lets the others think he’s a technophobic grandpa for the fun of it.

He mostly uses the site to follow artists and art-centered blogs, though he  _ does  _ follow quite a few erotic themed (okay, they’re porn blogs - but they’re mostly softcore!) blogs. The porn blogs had helped him in the beginning to get a firmer grip on and understanding of his sexuality, as well as his desires and interests in regards to sex. It’s not like people weren’t doing most of these things in the ’40s, it’s just that no one was openly talking about it and there really wasn’t an abundance of information.

So, yeah, maybe Steve went a little research-crazy at first and learned  _ a lot _ of things about himself and the things he was into - nothing wrong with that - he just...hasn’t found the right partner in this new century yet. 

He’s scrolling down his dashboard when a post from a blog he’s followed for quite some time, “bare-buck” catches his eye.

The guy typically reblogs other people’s gifs and pictures, but every now and then he graces Steve’s dash with a picture - or on the rare and lucky chance - video. He must have a lot of followers because his posts always get hundreds, if not thousands, of notes. He’s probably Steve’s favorite of all the porn blogs he follows. He posts good content that isn’t too raunchy and anything he posts of himself is always unbelievably hot, even if it never shows his face. On top of that, Steve can tell from bare-buck’s posts that their kinks line up pretty nicely. 

Not that he’d ever reach out. Steve’s happy to keep his internet crush the way it is while thoroughly enjoying - and yeah occasionally getting off to - the content on bare-buck’s blog.

The picture is hot, of course. Everything the guy posts is hot. He knows his angles, and his body is incredible. 

In this particular post, bare-buck is posing in his bathroom mirror (he posts a lot of those but Steve will never complain about the onslaught of mirror selfies if they look like  _ this _ ), body tilted a little to the side, showing off his muscles. He’s obviously freshly showered with a towel slung low on his hips, and water dripping down his body. Steve can see that even from a distance. One hand holds his phone in a way so that it perfectly covers any distinguishable features on the man’s face. The other one - a metal prosthetic like the one Stark makes - is holding the man’s dark hair back. Steve had seen hints of the arm in other pictures, but it was rare that it was on full display.

Steve gets a flash of  déjà vu looking at the picture, much like he did earlier in the night at Bucky’s party. The caption reads “subtle brag but i met captain america tonight and he’s somehow even prettier in person,” which at first is so weird to Steve -

Then he can almost hear himself counting down to three before he actually drops his phone like it’s burning a hole in his hand because -

He’s been in that bathroom before. 

Earlier the bathroom tugged at his memory  _ because he’s seen it before in bare-buck’s internet nudes.  _

The metal arm.

The caption. 

The bathroom. 

Steve has been following Bucky’s softcore porn blog for nearly two years now. 

Steve has a huge crush on real-life  _ and _ internet Bucky. 

Steve has no idea what the hell he’s going to do about all of this. 

What the  _ fuck _ has his life come to. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so things spice up a bit in this chapter, not quite worth it's rating yet....but we're getting there ;) enjoy this update

Steve spends the next few days doing one of two things - thinking about Bucky or wondering what the  _ hell  _ he's going to do if and when he ever sees Bucky again. He knows if he ever wants a chance for anything between Bucky and himself to happen, then he needs to be honest with Bucky about the whole “hey I follow your porn blog” thing. But just the thought of that conversation makes Steve cringe. He knows sex and the latter is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s hard to shut down years of conditioning from the ‘40s. 

He’s so distracted, he lets Natasha wipe the floor with him while they spar. She usually beats him anyway, but he typically puts up a bit of a better fight. 

“You’ve been off the past couple of days,” Natasha says as they’re cooling down. 

Steve grumbles something non-committal in response. 

“Wanna talk about it?” She pushes lightly. 

“I just have a dilemma. I’m trying to do the right thing by it but that right thing is very uncomfortable for me to do,” Steve says, choosing his words carefully. 

“This is about that guy Tony and Sam are trying to set you up with, isn’t it?” Natasha says like she’s been in on it the whole time. 

“So they  _ were  _ trying to set us up!” Steve exclaims, triumphant. “Wait, how do you know about that?”

“Because I know everything. Or close to it,” Natasha says smugly. “Either way, you’re typically pretty good at knowing what the right thing is. Even if it’s not necessarily the easiest thing. So push past that discomfort and do what you feel is right.” 

“So not only the smartest Avenger, you’re the wisest too,” Steve says with an appreciative look. 

“Glad someone’s paying attention, though don’t let Tony hear that kind of talk - he can’t take that ego hit. Now, go solve whatever your little dilemma is about this guy so that I can have a fair sparring partner next time.”

 

* * *

 

He’s hyper-vigilantly aware the whole next week that Bucky is most likely in the Tower somewhere. Tony’s shut himself up in the lab, only ordering food up and asking JARVIS to pass along that he not be disturbed, which always means he’s knee-deep in something. 

Still, as the days pass Steve goes from hyper-vigilant to only slightly anxious to almost forgetting that the man he hasn’t stopped thinking about is in the same building as him.

That’s why when JARVIS pings over the gym’s intercom to inform Steve that Tony’s looking for him, Steve doesn’t even think twice - or shower - before heading to the elevators to see what Tony wants.

It’s only when the elevators start going down - toward the non-residential parts of the Tower - does Steve realize where he’s being taken. Steve frantically hits the button for his floor, but it won’t light up and the elevator keeps descending.

“C’mon JARVIS,” Steve growls at the ceiling. “Help a guy out here.”

“My apologies, Captain Rogers,” JARVIS’ voice, always so calm and neutral, replies. “Mr. Stark was adamant that I take you to his laboratory. Said it was an emergency and no one was to override the action.”

“Emergency my ass,” Steve mutters to himself, though he feels his heart start to pound the closer they get to the floor that holds Tony’s lab. 

“We’re here, Captain,” JARVIS announces before the doors open. 

There’s some sort of rock music playing on low, Tony and Bruce have their backs to Steve and across the table is Bucky. He can hear low conversation and there’s a 3D holographic design of what must be the blueprint of the next phase of their prosthetics. 

Steve clears his throat. All three men stop in their tracks and look to Steve. He tries his best not to watch Bucky’s reaction. 

“So what’s the ‘emergency’ you so desperately needed me up here for?” Steve asks Tony.

“Do I need an emergency to call my favorite Avenger down to my lab?”

Steve just raises an eyebrow at Tony. 

“Okay, fine,” Tony says. “Bruce is my favorite Avenger, but you’re a close second.”

Steve rolls his eyes, then finally shifts his attention to Bucky. Steve notices, with a little bit of an ego boost, that Bucky’s staring at where the sweat from his workout makes his grey t-shirt stick to his chest. As soon as he realizes Steve’s watching, his eyes dart up to meet Steve’s. He’s blushing slightly.

“Steve this is Bucky, you guys met the other night at his party - not sure if you remember,” Tony says far too casually.

“Of course I remember him, Tony. Hey, Buck.”

“Hi, Steve,” Bucky says, nearly demure. 

Tony’s phone pings and he puts on a show of looking surprised.

“Oh, Bruce, look. Our lunch is here. We should go down and grab that from the lobby. I’m sure Cap here can keep Bucky busy while we do so.”

“Why go down and get it? Why not just have someone bring it up to us like we have the last couple of days,” Bruce asks, looking genuinely confused.

“Christ, Banner for someone so smart you sure are oblivious sometimes,” Tony says in fond exasperation. “Just c’mon.”

Stark passes him, waggling his eyebrows and Bruce follows suit, looking apologetic. 

“Oh god, that was so unsubtle,” Steve says, mortified, watching as Tony all but drags Bruce to the elevators. 

“Well, it’s probably kind of my fault,” Bucky admits sheepishly. “I don’t think I’ve stopped asking about you all week.”

Steve whips his head back to look at Bucky so fast, he’s sure he gives himself a bit of whiplash. Bucky’s idly fidgeting with a tool, and not meeting Steve’s eyes. 

“You...really?” Steve asks incredulously. 

“Well, yeah,” Bucky states, finally looking up like it’s obvious. “I don’t think I’ve stopped thinking about you since we met.”

_ Oh. _

“If it’s any consolation, I haven’t stopped thinking about you, either,” Steve admits.

There’s a beat and then -

“I should’ve asked you for your -”

“I was wondering if you -”

They both pause, then laugh at having accidentally interrupted each other. 

“You first,” Bucky says.

“I should’ve asked for your number,” Steve says. “I was going to. I was psyching myself up to do so the whole time. But I’m pretty awful at talking to people I’m interested in and lost my confidence last minute.” 

Bucky leans across the worktable, extending a hand. 

“Then give me your phone and I’ll put my number in for you, that way you don’t have to ask.”

Steve reaches into his pocket to do just that, but there’s something nagging at the back of his head. It sounds a lot like Natasha’s voice. He takes a deep breath, bracing himself for what he’s about to say.

“Before I do that, I have to tell you something. I need to be really honest with you here.”

Bucky’s facial expression closes off slightly before it settles on caution. It’s the most closed off Steve has seen Bucky around him, so he decides it’s time to rip the bandaid off.

“I think I…,” Steve clears his throat and winces, “follow your tumblr.”

Steve hears the tool Bucky was holding clatter down onto the table and watches as Bucky’s face flickers through so many emotions in the span of mere seconds that Steve can’t grasp a single one of them. Steve immediately panics a little.

“I had no idea it was you until after your party. I don’t mean to come off creepy and I swear to god I’m not stalking you. I just wanted you to know before we start anything so that if it made you uncomfortable then you’d have an out.” 

Bucky looks like his world’s been rocked a bit but still manages to get out, “no, it’s fine. How long?”

“Since shortly after I got out of the ice and joined the Avengers,” Steve says sheepishly. He can  _ feel _ his cheeks heating.

“How did you connect the dots?”

“Well...that last selfie you posted, after the party. I mean, like you and Tony said, only a couple hundred people have metal prosthetic arms. And only you have one that looks like that,” Steve explains. “I mean that and the fact that you definitely bragged about meeting me in your caption. And called me pretty.”

“Oh, god,” Bucky says, face falling into his hands. Then mumbles out, “wow that’s embarrassing of me.”

“To be fair, I found it flattering,” Steve offers, mostly to make Bucky feel better but also because it’s the truth. 

“I can’t believe Captain America follows my  _ porn blog _ ,” Bucky says more to himself to Steve.

And there it is, the other shoe Steve’s been waiting to drop. The acknowledgment of who he is outside of Steve Rogers. But even with the name drop, Steve still feels like from the moment they’ve met Bucky’s seen  _ him _ and not the shield. He’s treated Steve like a person and not an icon. It’s hard to get that from “regular” people. He’s really only experienced that with Sam and his Bakery lady from two blocks over since he’s been back. 

Bucky takes a moment to compose himself and Steve lets him. Then it seems a thought crosses his mind as a cocky smirk crosses Bucky’s face.

“You ever get off to anything I’ve posted?” Bucky asks. 

All the earlier embarrassment is gone. In its place is the same Bucky Steve met the night of the party, the one who stepped into his space and came on to Steve without a second thought. 

Steve goes beet red and he watches as Bucky catalogs that, then gives Steve a predatory grin as he comes around the table to, once again, come into Steve’s personal space.  

“You ever get off to any of the pictures or videos of  _ myself _ I’ve posted?” Bucky all but  _ purrs  _ this time, and he’s so close Steve could count his eyelashes. 

Steve just nods minutely, refusing to break eye contact. Bucky takes in a sharp breath at that and moves impossibly closer, so they’re toe to toe. They’re nearly the same height and it means their faces are just a hair's breadth away from each other.

“Oooh I’ll take that as a yes,” Bucky’s voice is low and gravelly. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you tell me about it right now. We can always talk about that later if you want.”

Steve thinks about telling him all about it now. Thinks about whispering it to him in every single detail as he pushes Bucky back onto Stark’s lab table. It takes every ounce of Steve’s self-control not to just pounce on him right then and there - 

“Mr. Stark would like you both to know he will be arriving back on the floor in less than a minute,” JARVIS announces overhead. “He asks that any ‘funny business’ be halted by that time.”

Bucky groans, and takes a step back.

“When will our friends stop cockblocking us?”

Steve just laughs, tries to calm his body down, and digs his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and handing it over to Bucky. Bucky takes it, typing his number in and shooting off a quick text to himself before handing the phone back to Steve. 

They hear the elevator ding on the other side of the room, but Steve can’t resist setting a gentle hand on Bucky’s waist, pulling him in a little closer, and leaning in to kiss the other man’s cheek before he leaves. 

“I said no funny business!” Steve hears Tony crow from where he’s getting out of the elevators with Bruce, carrying takeout bags. Steve really can’t be made to care though, because all the flirty facade has melted off Bucky. He’s looking at Steve with wide eyes and pink cheeks, lips parted in surprise. 

“I’ll talk to you soon,” Steve says finally, turning to leave. 

He throws a wink Tony and Bruce’s way as he heads for the elevators. As he turns around to press his floor’s button, all he sees across the room is Bucky still staring at him. His expression is incredulous and infatuated and Steve feels an emotion swell in his chest that he’s not quite sure he can name yet. He hopes his face mirrors Buc ky’s. He’s sure it does.

The last thing Steve hears is Tony crying, “Rogers you broke my best engineer!” before the doors to the elevator close.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve’s still riding his high later that night when his phone lights up with a notification for a text from Bucky. 

 

**BB:** hey, it’s Bucky :)

**BB:** but you know that already cause i put my name in your phone haha

**SR:** Hi Bucky. :) It was really good to see you earlier 

**BB:** it was really good to see you too. listen, i didnt really get a chance to say this earlier, but i just wanted to thank you for your honesty

**BB:** it took a lot of guts to admit that 

**SR:** Of course. I really like you, if you can’t tell that already, and the last thing I wanted to do was start what could be something great off with a lie. 

**BB:** i really like you too

**BB:** omg i feel like an actual high schooler right now 

**BB:** ANYWAY i think this could really be something. even if you hadn’t told me i don’t think i would’ve minded too much but I’m just glad you did. 

**BB:** besides, this way all the stuff I’m into is out in the open and there’s no surprises in that regard 

**SR:** I’ll always try to be as honest with you as I possibly can. I won’t always be able to tell you specific mission details or other things related to my job, but I’ll do my best to be as open with you as possible 

**BB:** that’s all i ask 

**SR:** And yeah I suppose it does give me a little peek into that mind of yours ;)

**BB:** i showed you mine now you show me yours?? ;)

**BB:** and btw sorry if i don’t follow you back already. I have a couple thousand followers and it’s kinda overwhelming sometimes so yeah

**SR:** Hey, it’s no problem! mines “brooklyn1918”

**BB:** wow you’re really predictable there, grandpa 

**SR:** Give me a break! I made it when I was fresh out of the ice and still adapting to modern tech!

**BB:** ok fine. fair point

**BB:** it honestly really is impressive that you’re as technology savvy as you are 

**SR:** Don't tell Stark 

**SR:** I have him under the impression that I have no idea how to work any modern tech 

There’s a brief lull in the conversation before Bucky texts him back. Steve isn’t sure why, but the fact that Bucky’s currently looking at his blog - something that’s become quite personal to Steve - makes him nervous.

**BB:** i should’ve known your tumblr would be artsy as hell. even the porn-y pics are artsy!

**SR:** Hey, I gotta stay on-brand

**BB:** lmao you’re impossible 

**BB:** i gotta say though, i mean not to be too forward but we’re definitely quite...compatible in more ways than one 

**BB:** if you know what i mean

**SR:** If you’re saying our kinks line up pretty nicely then yes I know what you mean

**BB:** omg america’s golden boy

**BB:** talking about kinks in MY inbox?

**SR:** Hey, I’m 95, I’m not dead ;)

**BB:** jesus youre gonna kill me

**BB:** well, before it reaches your bedtime OLD MAN i just wanted to ask, i know youre probably already going to starks christmas eve dinner buuuut i was wondering if you’d want to go together

**BB:** as my date?

**SR:** I would love that :)

**SR:** Do you want me to pick you up?

**BB:** omg no no that’s such a hassle. tony always sends a car anyway! just meet me in the lobby and we can arrive together

**BB:** don’t tell sam or tony

**BB:** i wanna see the look on their faces when i show up with the hottest date in NYC on my arm ;)

**SR:** You’re ridiculous

**SR:** It’s a date.

 

* * *

 

 

The week between getting Bucky’s number and Stark’s Christmas Eve dinner feels like the longest of Steve’s life. He’s thankfully called off to a mission with Nat and Clint that takes 48 hours max, which kind of takes his mind off the coming weekend but is still not enough of a distraction.

Then all of a sudden it’s the afternoon before the dinner and Steve’s panicking about what to wear, what to say, what to do,  _ everything. _ His phone pings with a message and Steve momentarily panics, thinking it’s Bucky canceling on him last minute. 

 

**NR:** Wear that dark blue button down and your black slacks. You’re welcome.

 

At this point, Steve shouldn’t even be surprised by Natasha anymore. But he trusts her judgment so he sends her a thank you text and goes to his closet to put on the exact outfit she spoke of. 

Bucky texts him a little later to let Steve know he’s en route. Steve gives it about 20 minutes then takes the elevator down to the lobby so he can meet Bucky there. Sam’s already up on Tony’s floor, where the party’s being hosted, and he sends Steve a bunch of question marks, obviously wondering where he is.

He hears his name being called from across the lobby and he looks up to see Bucky making his way towards him. His cheeks are flushed from the cold and he’s grinning. His hair is coiffed and slicked back nicely and he’s wearing all black, from his jacket to his shoes. It’s a goddamn  _ good  _ look on him and Steve feels his breath catch at the sight.

He wants to just grab Bucky and kiss the hell out of him in the middle of the lobby, but that’s hardly appropriate and there’s a lot of people around. So he settles for a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. 

“You look incredible,” he tells Bucky, breathlessly. 

“I could say the same for you. That color shirt on you should be illegal...the things it does for your eyes…” Bucky’s gaze travels down from Steve’s eyes to his lips.

Steve clears his throat before the two of them get too carried away and extends his hand for Bucky.

“Shall we?”

“Let’s go stir up some trouble,” Bucky grins, linking his fingers with Steve’s. 

When the elevator opens on Stark’s private floor, they can hear soft music playing from the next room so they make their way through the alcove the elevators are hidden in. They walk into the main room to see the small group of people Tony invited milling about. Tony himself notices them first.

“There you two are - ah!” Stark’s eyes go comically wide as he points to their interlocked hands. He quite literally stutters his next sentence out. 

“How dare the two of you show up to  _ my  _ dinner party as a couple without even deigning to tell me! Thank god I already sat the two of you together otherwise Pepper and I would’ve had to rearrange this whole setup.”

“So Stark and I basically set the two of you up and don’t even get the courtesy text of a ‘hey we’re coming to the party together,’ much less a ‘thank you’?” Sam’s tone is annoyed on the surface but Steve can also see the impressed look on his friend’s face. 

“We honestly did it mostly to see your reactions,” Bucky admits and throws Steve a conspiratorial grin. 

“Both of you are such little shits...I don’t know what the hell we were thinking,” Sam says.

Steve just winks and pulls Bucky further into the room. They separate for a time and say their “hello”s to the rest of the guests, none of the others as offended by the revelation as Sam and Tony. Pepper squeezes Steve’s arm and gives him a kiss on the cheek with a whispered: “I’m happy for you.”

The whole of the Avengers are in town - or, er on Earth - for the occasion, even Thor who excitedly envelops Steve in a huge hug when they spot each other, then soon after pulls out his Asgardian mead to spike Steve’s drink with. There’s a reason Thor’s his favorite - other than maybe Natasha - of the original team the majority of the time. 

He and Bucky occasionally float back to another during Tony’s little “cocktail hour,” but they aren’t attached at the hip the whole time. It’s really nice and weirdly natural. Being with Bucky is like breathing, second nature.

Soon enough, they’re taking their seats for dinner. Bucky is to his left, and Nat slides in on his right.

“I had a feeling you were nervous because Bucky would be here,” Natasha murmurs. “I didn’t know you’d show up with him on your arm.”

“I’m full of surprises, Romanoff,” he quips back.

“I’m learning that,” she says, and genuinely looks impressed. 

Dinner passes in a pleasant fashion. Conversation flows nicely through the table, people are laughing and joking with each other. The warmth of Bucky’s thigh rests against his own under the table and occasionally Bucky brings his hand down to rest gently on Steve’s knee where his thumb strokes idly.

It’s the most at home Steve’s felt in this century, and probably the most at home he’s felt in his entire adult life. Its fills his chest with hope and warmth and Steve can’t help but look over and watch Bucky as he talks and laughs with the others at the table. Bucky catches on to Steve’s staring and looks over with a warm, questioning gaze.

“It’s nothing,” Steve says lowly into Bucky’s ear. “I’m just really happy right now.” 

Bucky squeezes Steve’s thigh, then leans over to kiss Steve gently on the cheek. It gets a round of “oooooh”s from the table but Steve doesn’t give a shit. 

Dinner falls into dessert, which continues onto everyone hanging around and drinking or just talking. Sooner than they realize, it’s nearly eleven P.M. 

“Shit,” Bucky says looking at his phone. 

He and Steve are cuddled up on the couch each drinking a beer casually as they watch the rest of their friends mess around and occasionally popping in and out of conversations.

“What, are you gonna turn into a pumpkin at midnight?” Steve smirks.

“Look at you and your pop culture references, Rogers!” Bucky jokes back, “I’m proud of you. And no, but I do have to be at my Ma’s first thing in the morning so I should probably head out.”

“Mkay, I’ll walk you out,” Steve says, getting up from the couch then pulling Bucky up with him.

They each say their goodbyes to the group - Steve pretty much plans on passing out once he walks Bucky down to the car that’s waiting for him.

Tony gives them a lascivious look as they walk out of the room hand-in-hand, so Steve throws him his favorite vulgar hand gesture right back. 

They walk, holding hands, to the elevators and Steve presses the “down” button.

“Y’know,” Bucky says, rounding on Steve and that Bucky from the first night they met is back again, honey dripping in his voice. “I really wish there was some mistletoe right here so I’d have an easy excuse to kiss you.”

“You should do that anyway,” Steve nearly whispers. “You don’t need an excuse -”

Bucky is  _ on  _ him in an instant. The metal hand cups Steve’s face so tenderly while his flesh grabs Steve’s shirt at the waist to reel him in. Their lips meet and Bucky’s tongue eases its way into his mouth and just like that, Steve is drowning with it. He grabs at whatever he can; Bucky’s shirt, Bucky’s hair, anything to keep him grounded as Bucky continues to consume him with kisses. He thinks he hears the electronic ding of the elevator announcing that it’s reached their floor, but Bucky’s driving him back into the wall and plastering his muscled body up against Steve’s and then Bucky’s mouth is trailing up and down his neck and Steve could care less where the elevator is. Bucky nips at his jawline, then his ear and Steve lets out a shaky breath that’s bordering on a moan. He can  _ feel  _ Bucky smirking against his skin at that, so he grips his hand into Bucky’s hair in retaliation and pulls, forcing Bucky’s mouth back to his. Bucky does moan at that and Steve can’t help but grin into their next kiss. 

Bucky breaks away for a moment, to mutter  “such a little  _ shit _ ,” before diving back in, playing even dirtier this time around, if that’s possible. 

Steve isn’t sure how long they stand there making out like two horny teenagers, but he is starting to get uncomfortably tight in his pants and can feel that Bucky’s having the same problem. Steve knows Bucky needs to go, and he’s not sure if he’s ready for anything more than this tonight, but he can’t bring himself to stop.

“Um, sirs, if you’ll excuse me,” JARVIS’s voice says from above them. “Not to intrude, but the elevator has been on the floor waiting for you for over fifteen minutes.”

They break apart, only slightly. Bucky rests his forehead against Steve’s as they both catch their breaths, only to burst into laughter moments later.

“I cannot believe we just got scolded by Tony’s AI,” Bucky groans, but he’s grinning. 

“Better him than one of our friends finding us like this,” Steve says, acknowledging their mutual state of dishevelment. “We would never live it down.”

“Jesus that was some first kiss,” Bucky says reverently. Steve can only relate. 

They get themselves together enough to be able to walk through the lobby and not get hauled off for public indecency. Bucky’s lucky that he has the long peacoat jacket he grabs from the coat hanger in the alcove. Steve has to adjust himself awkwardly as they step into the elevator. Bucky only laughs at him.

“You’re evil,” Steve pouts as the doors close and the elevator begins to make its descent. 

Bucky just leans over to press a chaste kiss to Steve’s lips.

“You love it,” he counters. 

He’s not wrong.

The elevator takes them down to the garage level where the driver Tony arranged for Bucky is waiting for them and Steve is thankful. It means he can give Bucky a goodnight kiss before he sends him off without any prying eyes. Steve doesn’t plan on hiding what’s going on with Bucky, but he doesn’t want the news of Captain America’s bisexuality to be broken by some grainy picture of him kissing Bucky on the street. He’ll talk to Pepper, the Avengers PR team, and to Bucky, about how they want to go about all of this if - hopefully, when - things get more serious. So, for now, he puts it on the back burner. 

He opens Bucky’s car door for him, then kisses him sweet and sound on the lips before pulling the hand of his that is interlocked with Bucky’s metal one and presses a soft kiss to his cool fingers. When he looks up to meet Bucky’s eyes, the expression there is so tender, so fond, it makes Steve’s heart ache.

“Merry Christmas, Bucky,” He says softly. 

Bucky returns the sentiment before climbing into the car. Steve makes his way back to the elevators and up to his floor, and he feels like he’s floating the whole time.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Steve’s stepping out of the shower. He wraps the towel around his waist and catches sight of himself in the mirror, and a thought occurs to him. He grabs his phone off his sink and snaps a quick mirror selfie - he can only think of how he’d never live it down if the others found out - making sure his face is covered enough so that no one except his closest friends would be able to identify the person in the photo as him. 

He sends it off to Bucky without thinking twice, kind of hoping he’ll be asleep so that it’s the first thing he sees in the morning, while also hoping Bucky’s awake to see it as soon as Steve sends it. It’s well past midnight at this point so it could be either of the two options.

He’s barely stepped into his bedroom to search for something to wear to sleep when his phone pings multiple times in succession.

 

**BB:** holy FUCK

**BB:** steve

**BB:** STEVE

**BB:** you cannot just do THAT to a man

**BB:** i think i just blacked out 

**BB:** omfg i wanna lick those water droplets right off your body

**BB:** sorry if that was forward

 

Steve heart rate immediately picks up, and his semi from earlier that never really completely went away is back. He knows he’s got a desirable body from an objective standpoint, but hearing someone he’s so into express their desire for him is heady.

 

**SR:** No, I want that

**SR:** It’s why I sent you the picture

**SR:** I can’t stop thinking about you

 

Steve thinks “fuck clothes” and falls back into his huge, comfortable bed, scooting back so he’s settled on his pillows. He lets his towel fall open, hopeful of where this is going. The little “typing” bubbles come and go a few times before another text finally comes through.

 

**BB:** fuck. are you hard right now?

 

**SR:** Getting there

 

**BB:** touch yourself. get yourself there 

**BB:** then let me see baby

**BB:** you’ve seen mine let me see yours 

**BB:** WAIT you dont have to show me anything ok. but like if you want and only if you want dont let me pressure you into something that makes you uncomfortable 

 

The last of his texts are sweet, Steve registers slightly, but it’s the first three that really get Steve going. He reaches over to his bedside table and pulls out his half-empty bottle of lube. He rests his phone on his stomach while he squirts a healthy amount of lube into his palm. He thinks of Bucky saying those words “ _ touch yourself”  _ to him in person, then of his kiss by the elevators with Bucky as he gives himself a couple of strokes. He goes from half-mast to fully hard so quickly it should be embarrassing but he really doesn’t care right now. He picks his phone up with his left hand, double checking that he’s in his and Bucky’s message thread before he clicks the camera option in the message bar. He’s never exactly taken a dick pic before, but he’s seen enough of them on the internet that he thinks he gets a good one. Triple checking the chat he sends the picture. 

His phone rings not even thirty seconds later. 

“ _ Steve _ ,” Bucky all but moans on the other end of the line when Steve answers. “Oh baby fuck, your cock is so pretty. I can’t wait to get it in my mouth.”

“Fuck Bucky,” Steve whimpers. He should’ve known Bucky would have a filthy mouth. He speeds his hand up a little more. He’s never had phone sex or sexted before so he doesn’t really know the etiquette, but he just says what he feels.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left,” Steve admits. “If JARVIS hadn’t of interrupted us, I might’ve let you fuck me right in that hallway.”

Bucky chokes on the other end of the line, and Steve can hear his breaths coming out more and more jagged. Steve is so close, he isn’t sure he’ll last another minute longer.

“You close Stevie?”

“ _ Yeah, _ ” is all Steve can gasp out. He’s almost there, he just  _ needs - _

“Then do it,” Bucky whispers. “Come on, come. I wanna hear you come. I wanna be the one to make you do it.  _ C’mon _ baby.”

All it takes is one last twist down and Steve’s coming harder than he has in a long time. He doesn’t hold back, letting himself be loud with his release. He wants Bucky to hear it, wants Bucky to know it’s for him.

He hears a muttered “fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ ” on the other end of the line as he’s coming down as Bucky comes not long after him. They both just lay there breathing for a moment before Bucky breaks the silence with a breathless, incredulous laugh. 

“Wow...so that just happened,” he says, voice warm.

“Yeah,” Steve breathes out. He’s honestly kind of speechless. “I think you broke my brain.”

Bucky’s voice is full of mischief when he says, “oh darlin’ you don’t know broke yet.”

There’s rustling on Bucky’s end and then Steve has a photo message from him…it’s a picture of Bucky’s toned stomach, covered in come, with his spent cock softening against his thigh.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Steve curses and Bucky just laughs again, the little shit. “You know with the serum, my refractory period is nearly non-existent. You better be careful, I don’t know if my brain can handle coming again in such a short time frame.”

There’s a pause and then, “your refractory period is really that short?”

“Yeah,” Steve says carefully. Bucky whistles.

“I don’t know what I did in a past life to deserve crossing paths with you Rogers, but it must’ve been something good. We’re gonna test that refractory period of yours someday, many days if I’m lucky,  just so you know.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Steve chokes out.  

“And hey Stevie?”

“Mhmmm?”

“Merry Christmas.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....this may end up being 4 chapters the way i'm going with it.  
> (also idk how this became a christmas / holiday fic in the middle of may but whatever!!!)

**Author's Note:**

> so here's the first chapter! this is looking like it's going to be about 3 parts at the very least, but i'm known to get carried away so it could always be more. 
> 
> it's totally outlined and mostly written, so i'll try to get the rest of it out as soon as possible! if you have anything you'd like to see or like me to throw in though, let me know!


End file.
